Funny Poems
Spring Haiku
Haiku
Lovely buttercups
Sway in the spring breeze
For a lamb...fodder
Fixed glare of sun
On besieged whitewashed wall
I can see forever
Noisy sparrows sit
In my rhododendron shrub
A breeze dries my shirts
Ewe refused her lamb
Shepherd gave it to his wife
Now it is a pet
- Oskar Hansen
Haiku
Lovely buttercups
Sway in the spring breeze
For a lamb...fodder
Fixed glare of sun
On besieged whitewashed wall
I can see forever
Noisy sparrows sit
In my rhododendron shrub
A breeze dries my shirts
Ewe refused her lamb
Shepherd gave it to his wife
Now it is a pet
- Oskar Hansen
How to Paint A Wall
While I went off to work one day,
She decided to paint the wall.
And when I came back home that night,
She was curled into a ball.
Her eyes were closed, she was breathing hard,
Her hair was very wet.
From her head to the tips of her pretty toes,
She was covered all in sweat.
She was wrapped in a jacket made of down,
With a fur coat on top of that.
The wall was glowing with new, fresh paint;
On the floor, the paint can sat.
"Sweetheart!" I cried, with a worried look,
"Are you all right, my dear?"
She lazily opened her lovely eyes,
And smiled from ear to ear.
"I knew I could do it," she said with a grin;
"I followed the paint can notes.
It clearly said 'For best results,
Be sure to put on two coats.'"
-By Joanna Fuchs
While I went off to work one day,
She decided to paint the wall.
And when I came back home that night,
She was curled into a ball.
Her eyes were closed, she was breathing hard,
Her hair was very wet.
From her head to the tips of her pretty toes,
She was covered all in sweat.
She was wrapped in a jacket made of down,
With a fur coat on top of that.
The wall was glowing with new, fresh paint;
On the floor, the paint can sat.
"Sweetheart!" I cried, with a worried look,
"Are you all right, my dear?"
She lazily opened her lovely eyes,
And smiled from ear to ear.
"I knew I could do it," she said with a grin;
"I followed the paint can notes.
It clearly said 'For best results,
Be sure to put on two coats.'"
-By Joanna Fuchs
New Cook!Good morning, staff and students.
We have a brand new cook.
And that’s why our lunch menu
will have a brand new look.
To make a good impression,
our cook’s prepared a treat:
your choice of snapping turtle soup
or deep-fried monkey meat.
If you’re a vegetarian,
we have good news today:
she’s serving pickled cauliflower
and jellyfish soufflé.
And for dessert our cook has made
a recipe from France:
I’m sure you’ll all want seconds--
of chocolate-covered ants.
I hope you like this gourmet feast.
I hope you won’t complain.
But if you do we’ll have to bring
our old cook back again.
-Unknown
A Secret
It’s OK to tell a secret
to a dolphin or a seal,
but a pig cannot be trusted,
for a pig will always squeal
-Darren Sardelli
It’s OK to tell a secret
to a dolphin or a seal,
but a pig cannot be trusted,
for a pig will always squeal
-Darren Sardelli
Linda Blair
Linda Blair with great favour confessed,
She'd been exorcised, thus finding rest,
But alack and alas
Her old demon came back
and now the poor girl's repossessed.
-Dick Lamb
Linda Blair with great favour confessed,
She'd been exorcised, thus finding rest,
But alack and alas
Her old demon came back
and now the poor girl's repossessed.
-Dick Lamb
Limericks!
A limerick fan from Australia
regarded his work as a failure:
his verses were fine
until the fourth line
-Unknown
A limerick fan from Australia
regarded his work as a failure:
his verses were fine
until the fourth line
-Unknown
Funny Abdul
Abdul has habits all so funny
He eats salt mixed with honey
He puts on a lungi and a coat
Sporting thin beard like a goat
He laughs when he feels sorry
And weeps hearing funny story
Sleeping by day, he wakes night
He reports ghosts he had to fight.
In magazines the stories you read
Abdul a funny man, funny indeed!
-Binoy Barman
Abdul has habits all so funny
He eats salt mixed with honey
He puts on a lungi and a coat
Sporting thin beard like a goat
He laughs when he feels sorry
And weeps hearing funny story
Sleeping by day, he wakes night
He reports ghosts he had to fight.
In magazines the stories you read
Abdul a funny man, funny indeed!
-Binoy Barman
Chocolate Chocolate is funny
chocolate is fun
you can spread it on your body
you can lick it with your tongue
you can chew it, you can drink it
you can have it in the bath
chocolate is funny
it always makes me laugh
Chocolate is funny
chocolate is good
you can have it for your breakfast
as a substitute for food
it can be orgasmic
it can bring you paradise
you can lie in bed and dream of it
chocolate is nice.
-Charles M. Moore
Bugs BunnyMy honey bunny
Dunt be bugs bunny
Its matter of souls
Not a flare funny
The day I found ur soul
I was cherishd with love
Isn't it funny?
My bugs bunny!
Let's make it little better
Let's do it finer
Let s do it out of grinny
My honey bunny
Don't be bugs bunny
Loves on mind
Peace in soul
Let's not make it funny
My honey bunny
Don't be bugs bunny
-Somia Race
Something Funny
I'm thinking of something Funny
And it looks a little Runny
I suppose it could be from someone's Nose
That the person never Blows
I'm thinking of something Funny
Could make your Day a little more Sunny
In Holland they say it rains like Cats and Dogs
But I say it rains like Cows and Hogs
-David Darbyshire
I'm thinking of something Funny
And it looks a little Runny
I suppose it could be from someone's Nose
That the person never Blows
I'm thinking of something Funny
Could make your Day a little more Sunny
In Holland they say it rains like Cats and Dogs
But I say it rains like Cows and Hogs
-David Darbyshire
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